You remind me of….when you really want to take a picture of something, but don’t have a camera.

i am at work. which is alright. were waiting on files. i got enough sleep today to not even be tired right now, so thats pretty cool. except for the fact that i slept past 10, leaving kany waiting for me at work. gosh, i cant believe i did that, i feel so bad. and he invited this guy Dan from work to come over, so he was waiting for us to get home..

anyways, so i must say that im pretty excited for WayneFest ‘06, and then camping with mom and dad and bruce and marsha. 4th of July is the best time of the year, for sure. all the driving may get long, but it will be worth it. oh hell yeah. i bet i was asked about 10 times on tuesday if i was going to waynefest this year…for sure.

im working nights this weekend. should be interesting. im alright with it, excpet that now kany and i work different shifts. but that will happen.

wellp, i guess thats all my brain has for now. weird. peace.

“Its not like we had satellites 150 years ago to say, ‘Fuck, thats a lot of ice.’”
-Patrick Stuart on global warming and ice caps.

this weekend kany and i went to mom and dads. saturday we went to a M.A.D.D. Panel in St. Cloud. it was pretty emotional, but i dont believe in drinking and driving anyways, especially after dad told me a story about how one of his friends was killed by drinking and driving…but it just reinforces it a little i guess. and then kany and i played mini golf in albany in the rain, three rounds. it was pretty awesome. we each got 2 hole in one’s, and we were rockin it. that was really fun, and the rain didnt even bother us at all! it love it. and then we went home and hung out. we played a texas hold em tournament, and i won. it was only a $2 buy in, but there was 6 of us, so it was really fun. kany and dad were sooo funny with their sunglasses and poker faces. hahahaha. then menomonie went to a party and came home “wasted” and started talking about avons in mcdonalds and shippaling and handling…hahahahaha. then sunday we helped mom and dad split wood for a little while, ran to st cloud, then helped mom and dad with some yard work. kany mowed the lawn with a dixon, he was running that shit, it was funny, but he did a really good job. and kany weed wacked the edges even! haha he really was running that shit. haha. and i spray painted the hitch on the back of the camper and tried helping dad wire the lights for the trailer behind the camper. and then made hamburgers on the grill, and did a few loads of laundry, and then after we ate we played another tournament. but this time it was dealer chooses what game we play, cards or dice. we all started out with 10 chips. ($2 buy in again). menomonie ended up winning, trista took 2nd place.

it was a REAL fun weekend. i had tons of fun. except that i wasnt invited to erichs graduation party…well, until the day of, which was saturday. im not going to lie, i was a little hurt by that. especially since heidi didnt even tell me about it until the day of. but oh well, now i know, right. the worst part about it is that erich never even called me at all. heidi did, and it was still at the last minute and heidi even said on the phone that she knew that erich wasnt sending me an invitation in the mail and that she was afraid that he would forget to call me. but i said too that it was partly my fault since i have been really bad about calling heidi very much lately. i dont know. i guess its just hard for me because i always make it a point not to forget about any of my close friends, its really important to me to make people feel like they are always welcome, because they are, to me. but…and, i dont want to assume, and its terrible of me to even still say it, but i have the idea that heidi might not have even called me as early as she did, (if you can call early the day of the party). i think the only reason why she did was because jessica called me friday night (the night before) asking what i was up to that night, but i couldnt do anything because i was picking up patrick from the airport. and then she was just like, “well thats okay cuz ill see you tomorrow for erichs party, right?” and i was like, uhh, what party. and i told her that i knew nothing about it and she could tell that i was hurt by that. so i think jessica mentioned something to heidi and thats why she called me. but i do know how busy things get and stuff, and at least she did still call me, so i can forgive them. it just really hurt, you know..? disappointment hurts. but the other side of disappointment is that I created the expectation that wasnt met, I created the disappointment myself, so I have to be the one to forgive….i guess.
BUT, the best part is, i had so much more fun at mom and dads with the family, mostly because i just dont feel like partying as much anymore, but also because everyone would have been weird towards me since i said straight up that i was hurt by not being told about it. i think people (in general, please) dont really know how to deal with someone actually confronting them…oh well.

i really feel like writing. most of all, right now i just want to not be at work. i love work…its just that i get bored when i am running art school books when i dont have homework to do. i mean, ive already read every news story on google news, read a time magazine weekend edition, and watched the 2nd half of Downfall, a movie about hitler and WWII that is 2.5 hours long. and i know i am just especially antsy to get out of here because i know i will get to go home to my lover who is sitting at home chillin by himself. i could work longer, but i dont really need to because its just getting ahead, so i am being selfish and racking up hours for myself to make up for monday and tuesday when i was off of work. after this art school book is finished running, im going to leave. doot dee doo.

i got a hair cut today. my beautiful sweet amazing lover kany bought me a haircut at Aveda institute. it took awhile, because theyre students, but i really like it. it makes me feel great…so great, in fact, that i wish it was nine. i have been this way all day…wishing it was nine, which is probably another reason why i want to get home so bad….ahhh, its so overcoming…but the haircut: :)
<3

tomorrow is melnalalys graduation. my lil sis is a big girl now…hahahaha well, kinda. but i am going to see her recieve her diploma, awwww. and then sunday we’ll do some fishin. im so happy about kany and my family. so unbelievably happy. it almost makes me cry when i think about it. i love things that make me so happy that i feel like crying. im so happy.

on tuesday we got shirts for volleyball!!! Mandys mom is sponsoring us this year and she paid for the shirts too! im so grateful, that was so nice of her, and they really look great! and maybe it even helped a little to get us playing better as a team, because we fucking ROCKED on tuesday. i think we just rock in general, but the tshirts make us look good while were rockin it. i love volleyball..mmm.

ahhh im so freakin antsy!!

ive been like beating myself up lately. ive been noticing all these different cuts on my body…especially my hands and arms. ohh this calls for some workers compensation….definately. tsk tsk.

wellp thats all i got for now…PEACE

hahahahah omg.

he wouldnt stop trying to tickle me and even though he wasnt actually tickling, i couldnt stop laughing!
the sun is already coming up…!
Every morning at nine, I swear! …hahah
“Jeeeessica…it’s niiiiiiine”. hahah.
“Well, I like to do that stuff, but I dont really have a saw…or even a cordless screw gun…” hahahaha