So, ive heard people say that having food poisoning is the worst thing EVER, but oh did I not believe them. UNTIL NOW. holy mother criminey flying squirrels, does it SUCK. talk about literally bed rest for 2 days straight and excruciating abdominal pain. (and lingering more mild pain for 2 more days) Especially since i definately needed that the most right now…
But free burritos, man. They’re awesome… Nope. Not when it comes coupled with some nice after-vomit. argh. (dont worry, I shall still eat at chipotle once and awhile…even though mcdonalds does own them…)

Grampa is doing well, though. Which pretty much rocks my world. Even though I couldn’t see him again on Sunday because of the whole violently ill thing, I did get to see him on Saturday. It is hard to see him so weak from the surgery, and from not eating because of being knocked out for so long from the after drugs of the surgery, and then continue to not eat. But, he knows he has to, so it should be okay.

I had much fun at Tori’s on Friday night, too. I really needed that, and Tori pretty much rocks my world also.

Oh, and Kany is wonderful.

Well, its decided, Grampsies is going to have his open heart surgery. Tomorrow morning. Ill be there all afternoon and evening with him and Gramma today, and then right as soon as I can in the morning tomorrow.

I am very happy that most of my Professors and TA’s are cool about this whole thing. My accounting profesora is allowing me to postpone the test from Wednesday to Monday…that was really great of her. And my Afro professor is allowing me to skip class. I havent heard about my Calc TA, but if she doesnt allow me to take it later then Ill just take a zero on it. Its not so bad since we are allowed to drop the lowest quiz anyways. But hopefully she will let me take it later.

I am going with Kany to his court date tomorrow morning at 8:00. And then I have my court date on Friday morning at 8:00. But, I havent heard from my lawyer yet about an update, I may not even have to go to that court date on Friday since he is requesting a trial by jury. We will see. I tried calling yesterday but he was out of the office for Presidents Day. I will call him on my way to St. Cloud today.

Im out. PEACE.

Well, its going to be crazy for awhile. Sorry for those of you that love to read my silly antics (haha yeah right)…but with everything thats going on, I might not get back to writing for awhile. And I might not be around much either. And I know Ive already been pretty absent for the past few weeks/months, but I just need to take some more time, and take care of things.

Did I tell you I’m in love?

I find this…(well I was going to say utterly hilarious, but I won’t go that far…) …intersting.

So I was reading my Personality Psych book, and I came across this:

“…this section compares personality to political orientation. The psychologist Jack Block assessed a group of subjects around the ages of three and fou. Years later, when his subjects were twenty-three yeras old, Block had them complete a questionairre about their political orientation, which included questions about abortion, expenditures for welfare, national health insurance, rights of criminal subjects, and so forth. From their responses he assigned each subject a score along a dimension from “liberal” to “conservative” and found a remarkable set of personality correlates dating to early childhood. Children who grew into political conservatives, by Block’s definition, were likely to have been described at age three or four as easily victimized, easily offended, indecisive, vacillating, fearful, anxious, rigid, and inhibited. Those who grew into liberals, by contrast, were more likely to have been described as developing close relationships, self-reliant, energetic, and dominant. Block so far has refrained from interpreting these correlations, calling them only ‘food for thought regarding the underpinnings of political values’” (Block 1993).

Just some “food for thought”.

PEACE

I’ve been a total ghost lately. The thing is, I’ve been crying a lot. This whole situation with our house, and Angie and Tera and I trying to get off of the lease has been a total mess. It has left me feeling excluded and alone. I feel like I am doing a lot of work (using all of the resources possible, researching laws, talking to the legal services on campus, going to the doctor three times (which I have to go all the way back to St. Cloud for) to try to get a doctors note, finding a mold expert, looking for other apartments, and trying to find subleasers in case none of the other stuff worked.), and not only have I not even gotten a thank you for it, much less an acknowledgement, but Angie and Tera make it seem like I dont even want to try to get out. I dont know, and because of all that they barely talked to me anymore. they acted like, i dont know, like they were holding SOMETHIGN against me, i dont know, i dont understand it still.. especially because i considered them as two of my best friends, and now it seems like all they consider me as is simply a roommate. Two weekends ago they decided to make a whole bunch of jello shots and so I had melanaly and Kany over too. Well, neither of them even said one word to Melanaly or Kany. Kany wouldnt even go out to dinner with all of us. and then, (well i guess actually angie did say one thing to melanaly) while we were at dinner she asked when she was going home. they didnt even feel welcome in my house. I dont understand.

And then, I didn’t want to talk about it to anyone because as soon as I’d try, I would start to choke up and I hate crying when I am trying to talk to someone. I hate anyone seeing me like that. Now, I am crying because I’ve realized what a terrible friend and family member I’ve been. It was so stupid for me to try and figure it all about by myself, because not only has it made it a lot harder for me now that it has all built up, but I should have known that there are so many people that were just a phonecall or a quick drive away. But I did not want be a blubbering fool when I try to talk to anyone.

And then two weeks ago, I was sick for a whole week with a sinus infection, ear infection, and bronchitis all at the same time. That hurt.

All of this DWI business has gotten me all worked up too. after it happened and kany was talking about getting a lawyer and then after he went to talk to one, he made it sound like he was just going to pick up and leave to get out of this state so that it wouldnt follow him. i got scared and started crying but i misunderstood him. and then he said that he would never leave me behind. but he feels so bad about driving that night and he feels like hes caused all this trouble. i dont want him to feel so bad about it. especially because now hes probably really afraid to meet my parents. At least it sounds like in my case I can get out of it…but I still worry about it happening to Kany.

And, mom was at the Mayo Clinic thursday and friday last week and monday tuesday and wednesday the week before that. she has always had problems with her stomach and acid reflux and heartburn and stuff like that so she was trying to see if they could figure something out. but
i only heard about the fact that she was going there like a day or two before she was supposed to go so i got worried.

And then last week my Grampsies had to go to the hospital for congestive heart failure and hes been there all week. i went to visit him on saturday, and brought him his favorite candy bars that he cant find anywhere but like washington state and oregon. i was really excited to give those to him. but then he got pneumonia too and i got real scared because last time he was in the hospital they werent sure if he could make it through another pneumonia. hes doing well though, surprisingly well. so thats really good. it just really sucks because i can tell just by how he looks at me that he knows he should have listened to me and stop smoking. but he probably still wont.

And now this weekend after those guys moved out and i moved all my stuff around, i actually kind of wanted to stay in this room until the summer. I just really dont want to have to commute to school every day. Well, ive already found someone to sublease that is moving in like today or tomorrow (so soon, so i cant tell them no). So, then i was thinking that since angie and tera told eric (tera’s ex boyfriend who was supposed to move in with us from the beginning and is still on the lease) to start paying rent in february and he was supposed to move in in february. so i was thinking that if he didnt want to move in, that i could stay until may and then he could either move in then or it would give him plenty of time to find someone to sublease for the summer. well i called him today and he actually does want to move in. so now i dont know what i am going to do. i dont want to move in with patrick and nancy because its so far away and i would have to commute every day. but at the same time, i dont want to try and find a place for three months
because its probably impossible, and moving twice would suck.

I just feel so unstable right now. Even mentally. I couldnt even talk to eric today about me maybe staying without getting all choked up.

And I realized that its probably impossible for me to get into the carlson school of management because i dont have nearly a high enough GPA, so then i was thinking about doing a managment minor (instead of major) and finishing school next spring. i dont know what i want to do after that though. Everything is a freakin blur.

Some good news though, Ive decided to go to california again over spring break. I am going to stay with patrick and nancy for the first few days in san diego and then stay with anna the last few days. so that will be a nice break from this all.