no suppression

Posted on Wednesday 25 January 2006

I love how when i am hanging out with kany and b.k. and their people i dont feel like i have to suppress anything. like with some of my friends i have to suppress hip hop and rap music, or with others i have to suppress rock music. and with my parents i have to suppress like financial instabilities and stuff like that… but these guys dont even care. like even if they dont like the certain kind of music, it doesnt even matter theyll listen to it, and like it. i dont know, just a thought.

peace

jessicalinn @ 7:43 pm
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worst feeling ever: being lied to

Posted on Thursday 19 January 2006

Pretty sure the worst feeling in the world: feeling like your being lied to.

Nope. Not just pretty sure. Really sure.

jessicalinn @ 1:13 am
Filed under: and
back to uninterestingness

Posted on Tuesday 17 January 2006

Well, I am back to the feeling that the things that I have to say are either a.) uninteresting, b.) dont make sense, or c.) people just dont care about what I have to say. Every time I bring up the name Kany, eyes divert to something else and it seems like ears close. Maybe I am over-reacting, I dont know. But I just really get that feeling. So, I talk much less now. Why would I want to talk if no one wants to listen? And I want to listen, so I will. I will just be quiet and listen. I just wish that if something was wrong, you would tell me. Especially if it has something to do with me, but even if it doesn’t, if there was anything I could do to help, I’d do it. I want to help in any way that I can, Ill do anything I can, but I cant if you wont tell me.

jessicalinn @ 10:49 pm
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Epiphany, Staind

Posted on Saturday 14 January 2006

“Epiphany”
-Staind

Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

‘Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the thing’s I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it
wash away ’cause i don’t take anymore
or this, I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart

‘Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
though I always try to hide
‘Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don’t know how I feel
But I know I’ll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

‘Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

jessicalinn @ 12:45 pm
Filed under: and
difference, noticable…?

Posted on Friday 13 January 2006

i feel like things are different.

but then, in the ways that i think they are different, i cannot be sure.

in the ways that i think they are different that have to do with people, i could not confront them about this difference because of this uncertainty.

i hate not knowing what to do.

jessicalinn @ 9:17 pm
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theres such of a thing as the “Big 6″???

Posted on Thursday 12 January 2006

I cant believe this! Theres such of a thing as “The Big 6″ highest polluters in the world. Like the big 10, but for POLLUTION.

The U.S.
Australia
China
India
South Korea and
Japan

ahhhh

jessicalinn @ 10:27 pm
Filed under: and
money and dependence and pride…

Posted on Thursday 12 January 2006

i hate having little money. i hate it. and not even for me. like, when i am around people that have less money than me, i really want to spend it on them or for them…or us. not just for myself…at all. but then i hate saying that i have little money too, because then i realize that ive spent it on things that i maybe didnt need to. and then saying it causes people to right away start offerring. I mean, I love that they are that willing to help me out right away, but then i feel like a charity case. which, i know thats not what they think, but i do. and then i feel like if they offer again after me saying something again, that i am only saying something so that they do offer…like i am taking advantage of them or something, and i would never do that. and i really hate the thought of that. the fact that there are people out there who have ruined it. who have taken advantage of people that way, which causes others to question it more. anyways, i guess i have pride, or something…

what is pride, anyways?

pride n.

1. A sense of one’s own proper dignity or value; self-respect.
2. Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association: parental pride.

i dont know. i guess i just hate the idea of dependence. dependence on money. dependence on alcohol or drugs. dependence on what other people think. and especially: dependence on cigarettes.

okay, from the sounds of that, i guess i just hate dependence on bad things. because dependence on things like trust, honesty, and stuff like that is okay, good even. i am an idealist, i think. if there is such a thing. oh well.

hmmmmmm i dont know what else to say. except that money sucks and you can not buy happiness. i just wish more people realized or thought that too. And…I have a belly button.

jessicalinn @ 6:25 pm
Filed under: and and
things that made me go “hmm”

Posted on Monday 9 January 2006

Things That Made Me Go “Hmmm..” Today……literally….outloud even.

“The differences between reality as seen in science and reality as seen in morality and religion reveal that there are aspects to existence that are not revealed by either datum alone. The two sources are also unequal in the magnitude and ultimate significance of their content. What science can investigate and know is apparently all but endless, but it still leaves us wondering, “What is it all for?”

…Morality and religion have a far more limited rational content, returning to many of the same issues over and over again, but such issues happen to include, not just the questions about how to live, but the ultimate questions about the meaning of life and existence (”Life, the Universe and Everything,” in the memorable formula of Douglas Adams). That our moral datum does not lead to direct, positive knowledge of things that we are able to conceive, like God, leads Kant to characterize his system as transcendental idealism, that we have a subjective representation of such things, without the real intuition that we have of physical objects. The reality revealed by morality is thus for Kant a matter of faith (Glaube), an inference from the Moral Law which is itself present to us with an inexplicable authority. “Transcendental idealism” is thus profoundly different from other forms of “idealism,” like the “subjective idealism” of Berkeley (what Kant called “empirical idealism”) or the “objective idealism” of Hegel, both of which offer speculative certainties about the ultimate nature of things, which Kant does not do. The nature of things that we can know about concretely, for Kant, is revealed by science. Hence, Kantian transcendental idealism is equally attended by empirical realism…

…The situation, however, is not unique to Kant. Something very similar can be found in Chinese T’ien-t’ai Buddhism (Japanese Tendai), as formulated by the great Chih-i (or Zhiyi, 538-597). There we find the doctrine of the “three truths” of “Emptiness” (neither existence nor non-existence nor both nor neither), “conventional existence,” and “the Middle.” “Emptiness” is rather like Kantian things-in-themselves where “dialectical illusion” is revealed by the Antinomies (a device similar to that employed by Nagârjuna, c.200 AD); “conventional existence” is empirical realism; and “the Middle” the Buddhist reconciliation of the two — not a Hegelian “synthesis” because no absolute knowledge is produced to overcome the inconceivablility of Emptiness.

Such a religious doctrinal tradition, however, may not be considered by many to be very helpful with modern philosophical problems; and the T’ien-t’ai “Middle,” however consistent with the paradoxes of Buddhist philosophy, is not a marked improvement over the balancing act in which Kant himself leaves us. The solution to the dilemma was grasped by Schopenhauer but not otherwise well understood by Kantians:

“Consciousness does not just condition knowledge and perception, it conditions external reality.

“The modern context the most like this is in quantum mechanics, where, at least according to Niels Bohr, objects exist in a certain way, as discrete actualities, because they are observed. Otherwise, reality exists independently only as a sum of possiblities.”

“While the knock-offs occupy fashionable opinion, basic misconceptions about Kantian theory are casually perpetuated. For instance, a defining characteristic of Kantian philosophy is that synthetic a priori propositions are not self-evident and can be denied without contradiction. What makes them true a priori is that they have a cognitive ground which is not in empirical intuition (i.e. perception). Although it is often claimed, as by the great French mathematician Poincaré, that the existence of non-Euclidean geometry refutes Kant’s philosophy of geometry, in fact Kant’s view of the nature of the axioms of geometry as synthetic a priori propositions means that Kant could have predicted the existence of non-Euclidean geometry. This should be obvious given any clear understanding of the meaning of “synthetic.”"

http://www.friesian.com/kant.htm

jessicalinn @ 10:25 pm
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quote from reading about the matrix

Posted on Monday 9 January 2006

“The world of sensation seems so true that most people in that world are unable to break away, to see beyond it to what is real and lasting. They are lost in sleep, in a destructive dreamland that will destroy them. Clearly the idea of the matrix allows for some important spiritual lessons: We take our reality for granted. We tend not to question what we see, hear, and feel. We toil away for purposes that sometimes are counter to our truest selves.”

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2003/119/51.0.html

jessicalinn @ 8:13 pm
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clumsiness and me

Posted on Monday 9 January 2006

I dont know whats going on, but Im being really clumsy lately. haha, or maybe I have always been clumsy and I am just noticing it now. Either way this clumsiness is not cool. me no likey.

slippery shoes.

jessicalinn @ 8:13 pm
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