i hold back. and that sucks.

so i was telling my dad that ive been seeing kany more often lately and that i really like him…a lot. and right away he goes “why is that” so i told him….things that he knows are important to me in a person, kany is those things. but it was almost as if that wasnt good enough (well not necessarily not good enough, but..). like right as soon as i was done describing what i like about him, he said “be careful…there’s a lot of time for that.” maybe its just because he hasnt met him at all. and the thing is, he probably thinks there is a reason for that. a reason like i am afraid to have him meet him or something or that there is something that i want to hide. but that’s not the case, at all. i guess its just that, until now, until ive realized how much i really do like him, i didnt think it was necessary to have him meet my parents. i dont want to after the first few “dates” to have him meet my parents and then a couple weeks later, oh yeah it didnt work out…its sort of a big deal for me to “bring someone home”. i think the reason behind all that is because the last guy i “brought home” didnt turn out that great, (yes, TF) and dad knew that from the start, that we wouldn’t be together forever (or whatever). but at the same time, it didnt turn out bad, just not good. i guess my point in all this is that i wish dad didnt think i was hiding something from him, or something like that. its not like i am keep guys from him until all of a sudden the only reason he finds out i am with someone is because were getting engaged or something. i never kept the fact that i was ’seeing’ someone from him. and everytime i would go to see him, i would tell dad, im going to st cloud to visit kany. straight out. maybe the way i brought it up to dad this time made him react the way he did. “ive been seeing kany a lot more lately” maybe he thinks theres a reason why i didnt “see him a lot” before lately. I dont know. but its like that with everything, not just potential boyfriends.. anyways my other point in all this is: i know hes my dad and hes just trying to protect me from getting my vision clouded by something like this, (and that is why i love him so much..he would do anything to protect me and make me happy), but i wish he wasnt so quick to judge, or quick to think the worst….with everything. i love you dad…so much…more than i can put into words. so much that i tear up everytime i think about how much i love you.

peace

Spendin some Q-time with the boy tonight.

yesssssss!

I second that!