unnnnnnnnnnnwelcome mary’s little lambs i ate some cheddar cheeeeeese. at once i learned to quilt a quilt and nobody gives to charity! break your ankles, eat your nails, drive around in giant banana peels. the bracelet i once called home went fishing inside christmas, i loved that little blueberry until he farted.

wow, that took me less that one minute to rattle off. this is how i am right now.

so, i recently found out that one of my co-workers used to smoke pot. and this co-worker told me straight out.

this interests me…

peace

so, the freakin auditorium seats in rhapson hall are definately NOT designed for anyone under 5′5″ (which, i am) and i was going crazy in class today! ahhhh. my feet couldnt touch the ground except my tippy toes and if i would lean back so that my feet were on the ground i would slippy slide down…..crap!

peace

So today in my Psychology: Sensation and Perception class the professor spent at least 15 minutes (one tenth of the weekly class time) talking about the upcoming exam. He kept saying things like “..if youre looking for the directions of the questions…” and “…if youre wondering what type of questions will be on the exam…” and i dont know, that really bothers me. like, its almost like what are these people all doing here? i guess what i mean is, i dont think that we should be worrying about whats even going to be on the exam, but that we are actually learning. i dont know, maybe it makes me a loser that i actually want to learn about stuff…instead of just memorizing little facts well enough to pass tests. dude, we shouldnt even have to take tests. i dont know, there i go again trying to make sense of the world containing people who dont give a fuck.

peace.

Im tired.

I can tell that my body is like shutting itself down, and that is not cool. meh, Im over it.

I do, however, think I need some nice rest and relaxation, involving a back rub and lots of cuddling. Any takers? I really need that….

Men in pinstripe suits are seeeexxxxxxyyyyy.

If a man came into my room wearing a pinstripe suit, I would rip it off.

Please, if there was anything that I could accomplish in my life it would be to allow everyone to be able to be entirely in touch with themselves, because THEN, nobody would have to feel as though they need to compromise themselves for anyone or anything else. So if there was any advice I could give that I would stand by solely and entirely, it would be to never compromise yourself for anyone or anything but yourself.

“why faith must have works” says:
guess what!!!
pocket sized says:
what?
“why faith must have works” says:
shane came to see me yesterday at work and asked for the keys to my car and put an awesome new c.d player in my car (deck)
pocket sized says:
woooaaah
pocket sized says:
i was just going to ask about him…cuz yuou said something the other day, and i wndered what was going on
“why faith must have works” says:
well i felt bad cuz he wasnt calling me and stuff and he felt really bad cuz he kinda new he was being a jerk and that same night i talked to you i was on the phone crying and the connection cut out and he didnt even TRY getting a hold of me for 3 hours!
pocket sized says:
crying?
“why faith must have works” says:
i was pissed so i went to his house just a crying and i was like do you want to make this work even?
pocket sized says:
umm…i am NOT cool with someone that makes you cry
“why faith must have works” says:
and he was like heck yes so he promised to start treating me better
pocket sized says:
how was he treating you?
“why faith must have works” says:
just envaluable..i dont know if thats how to spell it….but anyway ive just been rambling now…you’re probably busy
pocket sized says:
no
pocket sized says:
im never to busy for you
“why faith must have works” says:
thanks
pocket sized says:
why do you think he was acting that way?
“why faith must have works” says:
your so cute
pocket sized says:
what
pocket sized says:
no…i was really asking…do you know why he was acting that way?
“why faith must have works” says:
well..for real he’s soooo caught up on the boyfriend thing and that i’ve done thngs with guys before…like ive lost my specialness to him kinda and sometimes he said it so subconscious but he makes me feel bad because of how i make him feel like 1% of the time
“why faith must have works” says:
he doesnt mean to hurt me but it happens
“why faith must have works” says:
i think i may be too needed too when it comes to displaying love to someone…kinda like i would want to be just everything to him and not just shoved on the back burner from time to time
“why faith must have works” says:
*needy
“why faith must have works” says:
sorry if this doesnt make sense
pocket sized says:
im sorry WHAT
pocket sized says:
hang on a sec
“why faith must have works” says:
i think maybe i’m being too needy cuz i’m probably a bit more compassionate than he is
“why faith must have works” says:
sorry…this is so cofusing on messenger
pocket sized says:
sorry
“why faith must have works” says:
no i am
pocket sized says:
“soooo caught up on the boyfriend thing and that i’ve done thngs with guys before…like ive lost my specialness to him kinda and sometimes he said it so subconscious but he makes me feel bad because of how i make him feel like 1% of the time”
pocket sized says:
okay THIS really bothers me
pocket sized says:
im so sorry anna..i know that i probably shouldnt be saying this to you…but i am going to
pocket sized says:
you should NOT have to compromise yourself for ANYONE or ANYTHING…
pocket sized says:
what i mean by that is..you think youre being too needy by what you want/need in a person….NO, it is what you NEED
“why faith must have works” says:
i guess he’s just got to realize i’m not like that anymore
“why faith must have works” says:
you are right
pocket sized says:
but the thing is…im really afraid that if he HASNT, that hes not going to
pocket sized says:
im sorry i know its not what you want tohear, but ihonestly believe this
pocket sized says:
i actually have been talking to tera (i dont know if you remember her or not, i met her at orientation and she is one of my roommates now) but that is exactly what we were talking about…we are really picky about what we want/need, because we CAN be
“why faith must have works” says:
she just broke up with her boy/fr right?
pocket sized says:
im not trying to say any of this tomake you feel bad, its just something that ive ben thinking a lot about and i would have said it to you anyways, i just dont mean for it to be talking about you and shane or anything like that, its just what i believe
pocket sized says:
yeah
“why faith must have works” says:
but on the other hand there are so many wonderful qualities and i guess the good has to out weigh the bad because you’re never gonna find anyone perfect either right?
pocket sized says:
its kinda like…and ive really been thinking about this a lot lately…i dont know why…but anyways, its kinda like, i know who i am and i like who i am, and i am not willing to have to take away part of who i am for anyone else
“why faith must have works” says:
ha
pocket sized says:
if thats what you believe, but i dont
“why faith must have works” says:
i just thought of something
“why faith must have works” says:
funny funny
pocket sized says:
what
“why faith must have works” says:
i had a dream last night that i was waitressing at this haunted manshion and carmen electra’s husband there was at the table that was black with a red table cloth and he was eating with amanda brix
“why faith must have works” says:
and not only that but there were like 5 other girls….
pocket sized says:
baaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha
“why faith must have works” says:
….and they were ALL amanda!!!!
pocket sized says:
OH MY GOSH
pocket sized says:
gross
“why faith must have works” says:
it was so weird
“why faith must have works” says:
well babe…thanks for chatting with me …i have to work tonight…MY LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i’ll try calling you again soon
“why faith must have works” says:
love ya bye
pocket sized says:
bye

Flaw is indeed my favorite band. I literally absolutely love every single one of their songs. And have yet to find music of even close to the same substance…

On that note, I would also like to share the song that makes me cry…Wait For Me

All these miles, haunting questions linger in my mind.
And all the while, making bad decisions out of line.
Still I’ve tried, to let go of the danger in my life.
It’s alright, when that’s the only thing I’ve left behind.
And there’s still time…

Wait for me. There’s so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it’s not because of you I’ve had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you’ll remember me.

At this time, I’m counting all the reasons I should stay.
Bottom line. I’m missing all the things I gave away.
I remind, and see your face every single day.
Still I’m blind. I wish that there was something I could say
To make things right…

Wait for me. There’s so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it’s not because of you I’ve had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you’ll remember me.

Just hold on a little bit longer.
Thoughts and memories will be enough
My need for you is only growing stronger.
I know you don’t understand it much
But it doesn’t mean I have to care about you any less
It doesn’t have a thing to do with that.
There’s still so many questions that are gonna’ be addressed
I’m sorry that it had to be like this.
But there’s still time to make things right.

Wait for me. There’s so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it’s not because of you I’ve had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you’ll remember me.

-Flaw

So I realized today the magnitude of the amount of people that smoke cigarettes, especially young people. I must say, it makes me very sad. So sad, in fact, that I would do nearly anything to eliminate tobacco from these people’s diets. To illustrate the magnitude of sadness I feel as a helpless bystander, I sign off as so:

peace,
Sadface Jessica

so ive come to the conclusion that i am destined to be single forever. im really having a hard time with relationships….i wanted to say these days…but well, ever. sometimes i wish i wasnt so… not inclined to initiate, but i guess im just so afraid of rejection. and then, i am afraid that if i do initiate, that i will be getting myself into something that i dont want to be getting into because i dont really know this person (even though my definition of realy knowing someone is REALLY knowing them) but then i think, if i dont, what if i would be missing out on something that i really do want to get myself into. its just really retarded that i cant overcome this. but, im really picky…thats why it is so hard.
and now having read over what i just wrote i realize how silly it is to be dwelling on this so much right now. oh well. again with the stupid lonliness….i know…