Saturday, 17 Sep 2005
so ive come to the conclusion that i am destined to be single forever. im really having a hard time with relationships….i wanted to say these days…but well, ever. sometimes i wish i wasnt so… not inclined to initiate, but i guess im just so afraid of rejection. and then, i am afraid that if i do initiate, that i will be getting myself into something that i dont want to be getting into because i dont really know this person (even though my definition of realy knowing someone is REALLY knowing them) but then i think, if i dont, what if i would be missing out on something that i really do want to get myself into. its just really retarded that i cant overcome this. but, im really picky…thats why it is so hard.
and now having read over what i just wrote i realize how silly it is to be dwelling on this so much right now. oh well. again with the stupid lonliness….i know…