so, im still trying to decipher whether or not saturday night and sunday was a dream. first of all, can i just say how wierd it is how everything played out the way it did. so sherry called me friday night, which was awesome cuz i love sherry and i love when she calls me, and i couldnt do anything with her friday because i was still in maple grove and i was helping patrick put up shelves downstairs. well, i knew i was heading back the next day after samantha and rachels party to go to solutionthirteens show at the Java Joint. well i told sherry that and that i would for sure call her when i got into town. so i did, and i told her how much i really wanted to hang out with her. and i get to JJ and crust and josh and sharon and jen and those guys were all there (yeah, melanly and laurie didnt even go…melany couldnt because she cant take her car and jake doesnt have any money to fill up his tank, and laurie i guess couldnt because her mom said no but she was still at brians…anyways) and then i met heidi and erich there too. well they said adam was having people over and i love going to adams because its always really fun and i knew he would be having a bonfire and i love those and so i really wanted to go and then crust and shawn kept saying how much they wanted me to come with them to josh and crusts because i guess they were having people over there…so i obviously wanted to go to that too cuz its the cousins and i miss them. well….i decided to keep my word with sherry because thats important to me. well i get to sherrys tentative apartment and anne was still there! i knew she was there the night before but i didnt know she still was, so that was really exciting. and there were also a few other people there, like the perfect amount because i always love smaller get togethers. well the guy that was there got a call about a party so we decided to go to that. we got there and i decided i really wanted to play fuck the dealer. then i saw these two guys walk in, and they introduced themselves (kany and b. k.) and i from the minute i saw them i just could not keep my eyes off of one of them (kany). i have no idea why, but i just kept staring at his eyes. well…he was doing the same thing. it was the weirdest thing, i have never had a connection like that with anyone before. and then, we both just had the same idea and all of a sudden we were back in this corner and he just kissed me. like one of those ‘i couldnt WAIT to do that’ kind of kisses. and then we started walking and he lived really close so we went back to his place and i had the most amazing time. we talked so much. we spent the whole night and the whole day on sunday together. i have never met anyone who likes to talk about the same things i do. there was even one point when it got quiet for a little bit and i just started thinking ‘hmm i wonder what hes thinking about’ when all of a sudden he asks ME “what are you thinking about” and so i responded ‘i was actually thinking about asking you what you were thinking about’ and hes just so beautiful, everything about him fascinates me. he took me to subway and then we walked like 10 blocks just to rent movies and he kept touching my hair and holding my hand and he just did everything perfect and i wanted to stay with him all night again, but i felt SO bad that i ditched sherry and she even called me at like 1030 that morning and said she was making spaghetti for lunch and said i could come have some if i wanted and i told her ’soon’ and then before i knew it, it was like 7 o clock and she called again and was like well im making hamburger gravy for dinner if you want some and i just loved the fact that she kept calling and so i couldnt just leave her hanging. so i said i would come after the first movie. but i felt so bad cuz kenny rented 2 movies for us and i didnt want to leave him…and then the people hes moving in with at the end of the month came and wanted to talk about paint and so it took that much longer and we couldnt even finish the first movie. and it was ‘in good company’ and i wanted to see that REAL bad and so i was sad either way and i dont even know why im writing all of this because no one is going to read this anyways and i dont even know if want anyone to read this so if you are reading this dont ask me about it because i wont know what to say to you. but i called sherry at about the time the movie would have been over because i didnt want to make any more excuses (even though it was a good one! i really wanted to finish the movie but couldnt because they came over and stayed a while). but yeah. it felt like a dream. i still dont know if its for real or not. what i know about this guy is everything that ive ever been looking for in a guy but never thought id find. or at least for a long time. but i cant say that its perfect yet because i dont know everything about him and he doesnt know everything about me. but i really just want to be with him again. right now. and find out.