The sun helped me today. I felt like it was a good day because of the sun. And it’s supposed to get up to 50 degrees tomorrow! Too bad Ill wake up (cuz ill need to sleep on the plane a late night and an early morning…ugh) in california where it is just that warm. haha. You know, I think Ive somehow lost some motivation. Or maybe its been this way all along Ive just noticed it now. Or is this year just a lot harder? I dont know. I have issues I think haha. So at work in our department theres like 5 of us in all. Two of out of the five’s names are Rob. So right next to the computer this is this like magazine cutout of this girl wearing a Tshirt that says “I <3 Rob” (but the <3) is actually a heart shape) hahahaaha sorry I just had to share because its right here and everytime I look at it I laugh…outloud. Shes such a strange looking girl too. Like a walmart model or something. aha wow I am going to hell. anways, (haha an-ways…its funny how instead of going back and changing it, adding the “y”, I typed more about it sounding funny…wow). I am thirsty. I need to allocate my time better. Kany is incredible. I think somehow when I am choosing classes, at the time I think I am making “such a perfect schedule”. Well how come every time later on I realize that its not so great. Not just not so great, not even good at all. Seems like nothing works together right. Oh I dont know. I took the plastic off the windows today, it was really nice to actually see out the windows instead of looking through the cloudy plastic. I stole these leather clog shoes from momma (I guess I didnt really steal them considering she bought them and never wore them…and they were only like $3) and Im really glad I did. Kany even loves them, he wears them every chance he gets, haha even though theyre a little small for him. Maybe we can find some of his own…hm. I feel like Im really letting things get to me. Like setbacks and such. Maybe its because things are beginning to build up, and compound. But then I feel like I am stronger than this, I can handle it. So far I have, but Ive been having these mini breakdowns. Or at least, thats what I classify them as. Its weird, but it is just not a stable feeling. Theres so much depth and complexity in this world, how can I let some little stupid trivial things get me. And then I think, in these situations I tend to keep it all to myself when I should be doing the opposite. But at the times its like how could that even help. And I’m not afriad to or anything; I have so many wonderful people to talk to. I guess its just hard stuff to bring up…? So much goes on when I am thinking about things that I cant even organize the thoughts myself much less put them into sentences for other people to understand. I guess its just a lot easier when people just ask me things. Plus, I dont want to sit there and rattle on if they dont have time or dont want to listen or something. I love feeling like I have nothing to hide. I was really thinking about this, and so okay, everytime someone like goes on my computer (because I have all my passwords saved and stuff) and if I tell someone to get something that is like in my purse or something, or even using my phone, they get all hesitant like they shouldnt be looking there. And I mean, thats not a bad thing by them because they are respecting your privacy after all, its very admirable actually. Its just that I love that I can just be like “Dude, you can do whatever, I have nothing to hide.” And even more, I love the poeple that make me feel like I dont have to hold anything back (especially the momma and the papa). I also think that sometimes if I ramble on long enough, I answer my own questions. This was fun for me. PEACE.

*SOC means Stream Of Consciousness….the greatest thought process ever.