i hate having little money. i hate it. and not even for me. like, when i am around people that have less money than me, i really want to spend it on them or for them…or us. not just for myself…at all. but then i hate saying that i have little money too, because then i realize that ive spent it on things that i maybe didnt need to. and then saying it causes people to right away start offerring. I mean, I love that they are that willing to help me out right away, but then i feel like a charity case. which, i know thats not what they think, but i do. and then i feel like if they offer again after me saying something again, that i am only saying something so that they do offer…like i am taking advantage of them or something, and i would never do that. and i really hate the thought of that. the fact that there are people out there who have ruined it. who have taken advantage of people that way, which causes others to question it more. anyways, i guess i have pride, or something…

what is pride, anyways?

pride n.

1. A sense of one’s own proper dignity or value; self-respect.
2. Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association: parental pride.

i dont know. i guess i just hate the idea of dependence. dependence on money. dependence on alcohol or drugs. dependence on what other people think. and especially: dependence on cigarettes.

okay, from the sounds of that, i guess i just hate dependence on bad things. because dependence on things like trust, honesty, and stuff like that is okay, good even. i am an idealist, i think. if there is such a thing. oh well.

hmmmmmm i dont know what else to say. except that money sucks and you can not buy happiness. i just wish more people realized or thought that too. And…I have a belly button.